Found: LiveJournal Entry from 2003 by Frank Hinton

I think you should always read for 2 hours before bed, because if you don’t there’s really nothing left of the world.

I think you should wash your hands constantly, and not just sprinkle them. Wash them. Meditatively. Keep a little metal tool and always clean under your nails. Keep your hands soft, even if you’re a man. Keep them soft.

I think that you should be kind to others and be upfront with people that are offensive.

I think you should buy nice clothing because you should look good.

I think if you’re a girl you should try to do at least one thing boys are into. And if you’re a guy you should get into something girls like, that way you always have a bridge somewhere.

I think that you should make love, have sex, fuck. If you aren’t having regular sex you should do everything you can to have it. I think that you should never watch porn because it turns you into slime.

I think you should watch porn for entertainment.

I think you should exercise every day and especially work on your core muscles by doing planks before you read for 2 hours before bed. You should really think of your body as a temple made of fat and muscle meat and keep it strong.

I think you should get drunk at least twice a month.

I think you should tell people you care about them more than you do already.

I think you should not eat meat because you eat violence. You shouldn’t be an animal, you should be a human. If you stop eating meat you’ll be more human, I think more spiritual.

I think that you should meditate as soon as you wake up in the morning because that is when you are most fresh and childlike and receptive to calm. I think you should buy a book on meditation and really work at it.

I think you should never think you actually know anything, especially wisdom. You should feel humbled by everyone you meet and you should be so lucky to kiss the dirt on their feet. You should be in awe of everyone because I think you should think you are nothing. You should say it to yourself over and over like a mantra: ‘I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing.’ You should live with those words as you interact with others.

I think you should say those words right now. Walk around and say them. Go outside, even if it’s raining and walk down the street until you get to the nearest retail establishment. In your head I think you should keep saying ‘I am nothing’ and then buy something and look at the salesperson, like, really look at them and think about how they are a part of god just as you are.

Frank Hinton lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia. She edits the litzines Metazen and alt lit gossip. Her first novel, Action, Figure will be released by Tiny Hardcore Press. More at http://frankhinton.tumblr.com/.